Christian Songwriting Organization Web Forum

[JesusisGodforever]

www.soundclick.com/calledout

MY SOVEREIGN LORD
Words & Music by Lou Becaria



VERSE 1 The favor of Your love shines all around me
The measure of Your sacrifice has no end
The depths of Your mercy, I just can’t fathom
Your grace bestowed upon me, I don’t deserve

REFRAIN Jesus, please, remove the scales that they might see
The power of Your love, the shedding of Your blood
Like You did for me
To be set free

VERSE 2 The sky is filled with stars hung by Your own hand
The miracle of life belongs to you
Every breath that I take, is in Your plan
You are the Creator, my Sovereign Lord

REFRAIN Jesus, please, remove the scales that they might see
The power of Your love, the shedding of Your blood
Like You did for me…
Jesus, please, remove the scales that they might see
The power of Your love, the shedding of Your blood
Like You did for me
To be set free
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For the Glory Of Jesus

Lou

[Richard Osborne]

First of all, I would like to compliment you on the excellent sound quality of your song. It sounds really polished, and is an arrangement that you can be proud of. I enjoyed listening to it. Musically, there is nothing that I can say against your song, nor, lyrically, either, for that matter. The only criticisms that I could think of, would be that you could have added one or two more verses. Also, the first line of your refrain, good as it is, as a prayer, could also be improved upon. Somehow it seems a bit clumsy and disconnected to the rest of the song.
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http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=417884

http://www.myspace.com/richardosbornemusic

http://www.youtube.com/richosbornemusic

[lee garrett]

I enjoyed the song. Sound quality is good. Production is orchistrated and professional. Melody went a few unexpected directions which is a good thing. I thought the synth voice just before verse one wasn't quite the best choice of voice. A little more subtle choice would have been better. Synth drew too much attention to itself. Lyrics are good. There is one small area where I'd make a change in the second verse, third line down. You stress the word "that" because you're matching the first verse's timing emphasising the "your" in the first verse.

VERSE 1 The favor of Your love shines all around me
The measure of Your sacrifice has no end
The depths of Your mercy, I just can’t fathom
Your grace bestowed upon me, I don’t deserve

VERSE 2 The sky is filled with stars hung by Your own hand
The miracle of life belongs to you
Every breath that I take, is in Your plan
You are the Creator, my Sovereign Lord

I would recommend adjusting the phrases so the emphasis falls in the first verse, line three, on the word "Mercy". And in the second verse, line three, I'd cut the word "that" and let the emphasis fall on the word "Take". A lot of contemporary christian songs use odd or staggered timing so unexpected words get stressed. I feel a song is stronger lyrically when this doesn't happen, so important words stand out. Keep up the good work and you will bless many.

[JesusisGodforever]

Thank you for your feedback and for the compliments. My goal is to improve my lyrics.