Christian Songwriting Organization Web Forum

[juvevillar]

LIFE

SHARING WONDERFUL DREAMS
A HAPPY LIFE'S MOMENT
MOVING FOR BRIGHTER TOMORROW
THE BEST THING WE COULD EVER DO

NOW IS THE TIME AND NOT TOMORROW
LIVING THE LIFE THAT WE WANT TO

ENJOYING OUR LIFE
A GIFT FROM UP ABOVE
SERVING OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS
OUR MISSION IN LIFE

GIVING NO ROOM FOR WORRIES
NO MORE TIME TO CRY
MAKING LIFE AT PEACE
ENJOYING HEAVEN'S GRACE
_________________
God leads the way!

[lee garrett]

It's a good rough draft, I like the servant's heart I feel in the lyrics. But the logic flow is either a little simplistic or contradictory. I'm not sure about the purpose of the song; why it was writen and what changes it urges on the lisener. Is this a feel god song? Perhaps the servent theme should be expanded. You can tell us how to keep ourselves moving, following God, and serving each other.

In the first two lines:

SHARING WONDERFUL DREAMS (here you're plural)
A HAPPY LIFE'S MOMENT (here you've shifted to singular verb tense--was there just one moment for asll those dreams? The second line should be ploural too)

SHARING WONDERFUL DREAMS
AND ALL MY HAPPY MOMENTS

In line three, a word is missing.

MOVING FOR BRIGHTER TOMORROW (This should be FOR A BRIGHTER or MOVING TOWARD A BRIGHTER. Also, tell us why you have share dreams and happy moments. How will that let others get to having their own dreams or happy moments. Without this, the lines come off self-indulgent.)

The second line of the hook bothered me a little.

NOW IS THE TIME AND NOT TOMORROW
LIVING THE LIFE THAT WE WANT TO

It assumes an attitude where we all want to do the right thing. This seems to ignore the struggle we have toward virtue which only comes with an effort. What the flesh wants is to sin. We don't do what we want, we deny ourselves what we want, that which tempts us, to do the right thing. We may have smooth patches where it's easy to follow God, but they don't last. Perhaps what would work better would be: LIVING THE LIFE THAT WE OUGHT TO.

THis stanza was the best. This holds the best theme for expansion and focusing the song.

ENJOYING OUR LIFE
A GIFT FROM UP ABOVE
SERVING OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS
OUR MISSION IN LIFE

All I can say about it is Yes! Amen.

In the last stanza:

GIVING NO ROOM FOR WORRIES
NO MORE TIME TO CRY
MAKING LIFE AT PEACE
ENJOYING HEAVEN'S GRACE

Worry is the sin of disbelief, so I totally agree, But no more time to cry is too simplistic a theology. Surely there's time to cry tears of sympathy for the brother or sister that's wounded and hurting. Line three talks about a life at peace. You should specify PEACE WITHIN. Christ gives that as well as strife. He said "I have come to bring a sword" and also, "Be not surprised if the world hates you, for it first hated me." And AT PEACE can be read AT REST too, which contradicts the first stanza's third line about MOVING; some lines have us hurrying along into a bright tomorrow, others seeking peace and quiet.

It's a good start with a lot of potential. I just feel a little more thught can go into what you're really trying to say and accomplish.

[luoxiaosang]

Shortly wedding dresses, after my parents moved from Pennsylvania to a remote rural area of Ohio near the Kentucky border， they began noticing dark areas of grass in the shape of circles. I saw one myself once when I visited them and teased that it looked as though a UFO had landed there. It would fade away and another would appear somewhere else some time later. One time a friend visited them and they showed them the odd circles of dark grass. The friend told them they are fairy rings. My mother went to the library to see what she could find on fairy rings and learned that folklore tells that if you stand in the center of a fairy ring at midnight during a full moon and make a wish， it will come wedding dresses true.
Some time Eve isk,,later， a new fairy ring appeared just a few yards from her house. (All the others had been out in the pasture.) There would be a full moon in a few days so she decided to see if the folklore tale was true. During the day she put a bucket in the middle of the ring so she could easily find the center at midnight. The night of the full moon she went to the bucket at midnight and made a wish. Within just a few short months her wish came Eve isk true.
My parents ffxi gil,had bought this property (140 acres surrounded on three sides by state game lands) and built a new home there so it pretty much depleted all of their savings. There was still so much that they dreamed of having there， but would not be able to do on my father’s pension. My mother’s wish was simply to have all the things they wanted for the property. One of those things was roads to the remote areas. Another was to have a garage and a third dream was to have a small lake on the ffxi gil property.
Soon wow power leveling,afterward， a company contacted them that was interested in some of the lumber on their property. They would pay for what they forested and promised not to rape the land that my parents loved so much. In order to get to the more remote areas for the trees they wanted to take they had to put in wow power leveling roads.
One day wedding dresses, my mother was talking to one of the owners of the company. He was telling my mother what beautiful property she had and what potential it had. He seemed to have developed a special fondness for my tiny 78 year old mother， and talked to her quite often during the month or so that they were there. My mother told him about her dream of a lake and he told her they had the equipment to do it and they would do it for her for no charge. They dug a deep and wide area out behind the first meadow and diverted water from a creek into it. My brother stocked it with fish and turtles wedding dresses abound.
With the money wow power leveling, they made from the sale of the trees they put up a three-stall garage. Some people may say that those things would have occurred anyway even if my mother hadn’t gone out into the yard at midnight during a full moon to make a wish. I guess we will never know. But another occurrence after that only strengthened my belief in fairies. Maybe sometime I will tell you a story of the fairy wow power leveling designers pictures.